(Geï¿½en haftadan devam)

**Olumlu
davranï¿½ï¿½ ancak olumlu bir tepki gï¿½rï¿½rse pekiï¿½ecektir. Kendimize ne kadar hata
yapma fï¿½rsatï¿½ tanï¿½yoruz, ï¿½ocuï¿½umuza ne kadar... Bazen bir sï¿½re iï¿½in sadece
yapï¿½lan olumlu davranï¿½ï¿½larï¿½ gï¿½rï¿½p,onlara odaklanmak ,hatalï¿½ davranï¿½ï¿½larï¿½ sï¿½k
sï¿½k hatï¿½rlatmamak gerekebilir. Takdir etmek ve ï¿½dï¿½llendirmek istenilen
davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½n hemen ardï¿½ndan yapï¿½lmalï¿½dï¿½r. Aksi takdirde ï¿½ocuk ne iï¿½in
ï¿½dï¿½llendirildiï¿½ini ya da beï¿½enildiï¿½ini unutacak,aynï¿½ olumlu davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½
sergilemeyi de hatï¿½rlamayacaktï¿½r. **

**Sabï¿½r gï¿½stermek bazen gerï¿½ekten zor gelir.Zira ï¿½ocuklar
ebeveynlerin sabï¿½rlarï¿½nï¿½ zorlamada ï¿½ok baï¿½arï¿½lï¿½dï¿½rlar.ï¿½ncelikle patlayacaï¿½ï¿½nï¿½zï¿½
hissettiï¿½inizde ï¿½ocuï¿½a duygunuzun ne olduï¿½undan bahsedin ve o sï¿½rada tartï¿½ï¿½mayï¿½
kesip,hem kendinizin hem de ï¿½ocuï¿½un sakinleï¿½mesini bekleyin.Kendinize ï¿½ocuï¿½a
sinirlendim ama acaba bu ï¿½fkenin gerï¿½ekten ne kadarï¿½ ï¿½ocuï¿½a yï¿½nelik,ne kadarï¿½
baï¿½ka nedenlerden diye sorun.Bazen iï¿½te yaï¿½adï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nï¿½z bir sorunu eve taï¿½ï¿½dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nï¿½z
iï¿½in ya da o gï¿½n sizi kï¿½zdï¿½ran bir olay iï¿½in patlayacak yer
ararsï¿½nï¿½z.Karï¿½ï¿½nï¿½zdaki en kolay hedefte ï¿½ocuk olur.Tartï¿½ï¿½ma baï¿½ladï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nï¿½
hissettiï¿½inizde ï¿½ocuï¿½a ï¿½ok kï¿½zgï¿½nï¿½m ya da yorgunum ,ï¿½zgï¿½nï¿½m diye duygunuzu
aï¿½ï¿½klayï¿½n.ï¿½ocuk bunu anlayacaktï¿½r.Bazen aynï¿½ davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ sizi anlamamazlï¿½ktan
gelip sï¿½rdï¿½rebilir ancak her defasï¿½nda aynï¿½ ï¿½ekilde davranï¿½rsanï¿½z bir sï¿½re
sonra ï¿½ocuk bu deï¿½iï¿½ikliï¿½i fark edecek ve o da duygularï¿½ yolu ile konuï¿½acak
belki de neden o gï¿½n bï¿½yle davrandï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ ,canï¿½nï¿½ sï¿½kan bir ï¿½ey olup olmadï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nï¿½
anlatacaktï¿½r.ï¿½ocuk istenmeyen bir davranï¿½ï¿½ yaptï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nda bunun sonuï¿½larï¿½ hakkï¿½nda
dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nmesini saï¿½lamak ve aï¿½ï¿½klamak ï¿½nemlidir.Evde belirlenen kurallara
uyulmadï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ zaman bunun kendisine ya da baï¿½kasï¿½na ne gibi zararlarï¿½ olacaï¿½ï¿½
ï¿½ocuï¿½a anlatï¿½lmalï¿½ ve bunlar hakkï¿½nda dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nmesi saï¿½lanmalï¿½dï¿½r.Bunun iï¿½in ï¿½ocuï¿½a
fï¿½rsat tanï¿½mak gerekir.ï¿½ocuk ï¿½srarla kardeï¿½inin eï¿½yalarï¿½nï¿½ karï¿½ï¿½tï¿½rï¿½yor,bozuyor
ve daï¿½ï¿½tï¿½yorsa ,bunun yanlï¿½ï¿½ olduï¿½u anlatï¿½lmalï¿½,kardeï¿½ini ï¿½zdï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ hakkï¿½nda
dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ndï¿½rï¿½lmeli ve kardeï¿½inin eï¿½yalarï¿½nï¿½ toplamasï¿½ saï¿½lanarak yaptï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ olumsuz
davranï¿½ï¿½ hakkï¿½nda davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nï¿½ telafi etmesine ve dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nmesine yardï¿½mcï¿½
olmalï¿½dï¿½r. Cezalandï¿½rmak ï¿½ocuï¿½unuzun ï¿½fkesinin artmasï¿½na neden olacaktï¿½r. Artan
ï¿½fkenin kaynaï¿½ï¿½ ise siz olacaï¿½ï¿½nï¿½z iï¿½in ï¿½ocuk aldï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ ceza ile davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½
arasï¿½nda baï¿½lantï¿½ kurmak yerine , ceza ile sizin aranï¿½zda baï¿½lantï¿½
kuracak,bï¿½ylece davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nï¿½n sonucunu dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nmesine fï¿½rsat kalmayacaktï¿½r.Halbuki
amaï¿½ ,sonucu ï¿½ï¿½renmesi ve sonuca katlanmasï¿½nï¿½, dï¿½ï¿½ï¿½nmesini saï¿½lamak
olmalï¿½dï¿½r.ï¿½dï¿½llendirme yï¿½nteminde de dikkat edilmesi gereken yapï¿½lan her
davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ maddi olarak ï¿½dï¿½llendirme yï¿½ntemidir.Dersini yaparsan sana ï¿½eker
alacaï¿½ï¿½m ya da seni gezmeye gï¿½tï¿½receï¿½im gibi ï¿½dï¿½llendirmelerde bir sï¿½re sonra
ï¿½ocuï¿½un istekleri karï¿½ï¿½lanamaz boyuta varabilir.ï¿½ocuk rï¿½ï¿½vetle davranmayï¿½ ï¿½ï¿½renir.ï¿½dï¿½lï¿½nde
dozu ï¿½nemlidir.ï¿½dï¿½l ï¿½nceden deï¿½il mutlaka istenen davranï¿½ï¿½ yapï¿½ldï¿½ktan sonra
verilmeli,mutlaka maddi bir ï¿½dï¿½l olmamalï¿½dï¿½r,ï¿½rn;sï¿½zlï¿½ takdirde bir
ï¿½dï¿½ldï¿½r.ï¿½stenen davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½n yapï¿½lmasï¿½ bir sï¿½re sonra ï¿½dï¿½l olmadan da
olmalï¿½dï¿½r.Hedef ï¿½dï¿½llendirme ile ï¿½ï¿½renilen davranï¿½ï¿½ï¿½n yerleï¿½mesi ve ï¿½dï¿½le gerek
duymadan yapï¿½lmasï¿½ olmalï¿½dï¿½r.**

**Unutmamalï¿½dï¿½r ki ï¿½ocuï¿½a ne kadar olumlu yaklaï¿½ï¿½rsak o kadar
olumlu cevap alabiliriz. Burada kendimiz iï¿½in neler bekliyorsak aynï¿½sï¿½nï¿½ ï¿½ocuï¿½a
da uygulamamï¿½z gerektiï¿½ini hatï¿½rlamalï¿½yï¿½z.**

*

"IQ" ile ï¿½lï¿½ï¿½len, zeka, insanlarï¿½n okul ve iï¿½ yaï¿½amï¿½ndaki
baï¿½arï¿½sï¿½nï¿½ belirleyen deï¿½iï¿½mez bir etken midir? ï¿½yleyse, neden yï¿½ksek IQ'lu
ï¿½ocuklar, ortalama IQ'ya sahip arakadaï¿½larï¿½na gï¿½re hayatta daha baï¿½arï¿½sï¿½z
olabiliyor? Dr. Daniel Goleman, psikoloji alanï¿½nda ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½r aï¿½an bu kitabï¿½nda,
"EQ"nun, "IQ"dan daha ï¿½nemli olduï¿½unu kanï¿½tlï¿½yor.
"Duygusal zeka"yï¿½, ï¿½zbilinï¿½, azim dï¿½rtï¿½lerini frenleme, baï¿½kalarï¿½nï¿½n
duygularï¿½nï¿½ paylaï¿½abilme gibi ï¿½zellikleri iï¿½eren bir zeka olarak tanï¿½mlï¿½yor.
Araï¿½tï¿½rma bulgularï¿½na gï¿½re, duygusal zeka yoksunluï¿½u, kiï¿½inin aile yaï¿½amï¿½ndan
mesleki baï¿½arï¿½sï¿½na, toplumsal iliï¿½kilerinden saï¿½lï¿½k durumuna kadar birï¿½ok
alanda ï¿½ok kï¿½tï¿½ sonuï¿½lar doï¿½urabiliyor. Ancak, Dr. Goleman'a, gï¿½re, duygusal
zeka doï¿½uï¿½tan gelen bir ï¿½zellik deï¿½il. ï¿½nsan beyninin yapï¿½sï¿½ dolayï¿½sï¿½yla,
ï¿½ocuklukta alï¿½nan duygusal dersler, yaï¿½am boyunca davranï¿½ï¿½ tarzï¿½nï¿½ belirliyor.
Baï¿½ta eï¿½itimciler ve ana-babalar olmak ï¿½zere, herkesin ufkunu aï¿½an bu kitabï¿½n
ï¿½ok ï¿½nemli bir toplumsal mesajï¿½ da var: Demokrasinin topluma ne ï¿½lï¿½ï¿½de mal
olduï¿½u, bireylerin duygusal zeka dï¿½zeyiyle doï¿½rudan baï¿½lantï¿½lï¿½.

Yazar: **Daniel
Goleman**

Yayï¿½nevi: **Varlï¿½k
Yayï¿½nlarï¿½**

ï¿½evirmen: **Banu
Seï¿½kin Yï¿½ksel**

Sayfa sayï¿½sï¿½: 420

ISBN:

Basï¿½m tarihi: Ocak 2001

Kategori: **Kiï¿½isel
Geliï¿½im**

**18.00 YTL**

Hermes Kitap Fiyatï¿½:

**14.40 YTL**